During my break, I somehow managed to find time to still put something up every now and then. Ironically, afterwards, I stopped posting all together. Now I hope that I am back, full force. I have been writing, even if it wasn't here, and I hope to move some of that off the page and onto this blog over the course of the next week. God has been with me so much and I have so many miracles to document, that I'm not sure where to start. There's so much related to an experience I have had witnessing over the last 3 weeks (4?) that I don't feel like I should say, b/c it is very important to me to respect privacy. Still, I think I need to write about it some, b/c it's something that is changing me.
God has taught me something about myself: I have become steel-hearted. At first, I didn't see it as a sin, and I am sure that most people won't immediately see that either. A lot of things lead me to this point. I have gone through a lot of separation from loved ones, and a lot of disappointment on a large scale, plus I think I have a tendency toward that kind of behavior. I have learned, through experiences and prayer, that loving someone inwardly, like knowing that you love them and would do anything for them, is not the same as loving them outwardly, like showing kindness, compassion, and even weakness to someone. And if you don't have both kinds of love, you aren't loving fully.
When Christ is asked what the most important commandment is, he says that it is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, all you mind, and all your soul. Then, in the same breath, he says that you must love your neighbor as yourself. God has convicted me to love more fully.
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