Jonah: A personal connection

I used to be heavily involved in theatre and stage arts, but there was always something about it that rubbed me the wrong way. There is a sad emptiness in that life which I believe comes from a complete absence of God. People are worshiping themselves. I don't mean that to sound as bad as it does, b/c everyone makes themselves an idol every now and then, but the culture of actors and directors and the like really emphasizes the inflated ego. Self promotion is the only way to be successful. That makes for a lot of pride and a lot of disappointment. After all, if you try to fill the God-shaped hole in your heart with yourself, how can you not be let down?

Last month, I auditioned for a musical with some immoral content; nothing terrible, just "worldly" stuff. However, b/c God has been working so actively in my life, I wasn't sure that I wanted to take a role. I truly believe that God has gifted me with music, in the sense that I would have no musical ability on my own but I am growing in that area supernaturally b/c He wants me there, and I don't want to use that gift for anything but glorifiying Him. So how could I take part in a play where my musical skills would be used to reinforce worldly ideas and morality?

It used to be that I lived my life as though I was a Christian most of the time, but everyone now and then I would take a break and go back to my old ways. I wasn't sinning, but I wasn't abiding in Him, either. Recently, though, I have entered a stage where I realize that everything is for and in Christ, and so I didn't know if this play was was the right place for me. So I prayed about it. I asked God not to give me anything I wasn't ready for. I asked him to keep me away from influences that might change my heart or lead me away from what He has for me. And I feel confident that I received an answer. Almost a month went by since the audition, and I was sure that I didn't make the cut. I saw it as God's way of saying, "Stay in my house, where you are going to behave." Then the cast list arrived in my email box, and I was floored by what I read: I was cast in the role that I wanted most.

I have come to a point where I realize that my life is very much only about being in the church and I need some outside exposure. God has been speaking to my heart, telling me something the last few days. When I was involved in the theatre culture before, I let it get the best of me. I allowed their influences to change me. So God removed me from that and taught me to follow Him more closely. Now, I believe, He's putting me right back in it, b/c He wants me to shine His light. He's calling me to make some bold statements during the rehearsals and performances of this play: to testify to the other actors, to find out the beliefs of those around me and challenge them, even very specific things, like to credit Him for all He's done to get me here when I give my traditional thanks in the play's program. I hope I will be obedient.

In the book ofJonah, there is a story that I think parallels mine:

The word of the LORD came to Jonah son of Amittai: "Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me. But Jonah ran away from the LORD and headed for Tarshish. He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the LORD. Then the LORD sent a great wind on the sea, and such a violent storm arose that the ship threatened to break up. All the sailors were afraid and each cried out to his own god. And they threw the cargo into the sea to lighten the ship...The sea was getting rougher and rougher. So they asked him, "What should we do to you to make the sea calm down for us?" "Pick me up and throw me into the sea," he replied, "and it will become calm. I know that it is my fault that this great storm has come upon you." ...Then they took Jonah and threw him overboard, and the raging sea grew calm...But the LORD provided a great fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was inside the fish three days and three nights...And the LORD commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land. Then the word of the LORD came to Jonah a second time: "Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you." Jonah obeyed the word of the LORD and went to Nineveh.

(Jonah 1:1-5, 11-12, 15, 17; 2:17; 3: 1-3 NIV)

Jonah didn't want to go to Nineveh, b/c he thought the people there were not good enough for God. God tells him that they are very important; that their sinning makes them more of a reason to be saved, not less. Jonah runs away, but God still brings him to the great city. That is, of course, after surviving a horrible storm, being thrown overboard, and being swallowed and thrown back up by a whale.

I have come to understand that God took me out of a culture that was harmful to me when I was still a "baby Christian." I have been participating in the theatre culture in some capacity since around age 5, but I left it behind me about 3 years ago. In those 3 years my faith has tripled. Now, God is calling me. "Go back to Nineveh!" he's saying. "Shine my light there! Show them who I am!" I am scared that the culture will suck me in, that I will loose all the progress I made in those 3 years. But if God wants me there, I will go.

Please understand that I am not saying that the people involved in this play, or any play, are like the people of Nineveh. My first impression has been that the are distinctively different from the sinful people from that story. Some are professed Christians, and all appear to be good people. Also, I am not saying that this play is evil. To the contrary, it's a funny, light-hearted portrait of American culture. Yes there are bad morals in there, but if anything it's pointing out the lowliness of that lifestyle. But the plays content not my point today. The point is what God is doing in me.

I ask you to pray for me, that I might be stregthened to do His work there. I don't want to become prideful; I don't want to lessen my commitment to spend time with God in prayer and in His word; I don't want to find myself lessening or denying my faith to others for fear that they will think less of me. I can stand strong and testify if God is with me and in me, but I must exercize my free will to abide in Him in order to do it.

I want to be like Jonah, b/c he eventually did God's will, but I don't want to have to go through horrible trials like he did. This is God's lesson for me in all this: "Listen to me, do what I ask, and you will shine my light in the dark places."