Noah got drunk too!

So last night I made a mistake. I drank way too much.

Let me start by saying that I know that for some people drinking is a problem, and they should not drink at all. I think you would be surprised to find how close to home that is for me --- drinking can be a huge stumbling block for some. But I think that in moderation, alcohol is okay for most people. I know that the scriptures tell us not to be drunk with wine but drunk with the Holy Spirit, and my interpretation of that has always been that God is telling us that He is enough, and he will make us happy, and we don't need alcohol if we have Him. I also know that scripture points out that alcohol is a gateway to other sins --- and I know that's true too. I've seen it happen. In my experience though, drinking doesn't change my inhibitions enough to cause me to sin greatly. Still, I know better than to "drink to get drunk," and try to only drink socially and in moderation.

That's where my mistake comes in. I can honestly say that I had no intention of drinking a lot last night. I was very happy b/c of the job, and I felt like celebrating a little, and I had plans with some girlfriends to hang out. I bought a 6 pack of beer to take over there thinking I would have, at most, half of it. But that's the funny thing about alcohol -- your plans go out the window. Normally, I stick to what I set out for myself, but I was so relieved about my job situation that I kept drinking. I was really bad by the time my friend brought me home. I know I embarrassed myself, which was fine b/c I was among only close friends, but more importantly, I feel like I sinned.

If I were still living my old life, I wouldn't care. I would say that I didn't do anything wrong. Yes, I drank too much, but I did it around all women, all good friends, in a safe environment. I didn't drive, I didn't cheat, I didn't go streaking! I was good. But over the last few months I have come to see this: If my life doesn't look significantly different now from when I wasn't saved, something is wrong. If I don't look like a new person I must not be living the life Christ has for me. I live a very different life now, but last night I slipped back. I know that I was just living up to what Paul said about falling short of the grace of God, but I still need to repent.

I have heard that the true meaning of the word repent is two-fold. 1. you ask for forgiveness and 2. you turn away from the sin and strive not to repeat it. It would be very easy for me to just do the first definition, but I know that God demands more of me. He is making a perfect work in me, and I want Him to! I need to let go of these things. I need to remember that I don't need to drink to be relieved, relaxed or happy if I have the Holy Spirit in me!

Papa God, will you forgive me for not abiding in you last night? Will you teach me through this experience? I know that I have your forgiveness whenever I ask, and I thank you so much for that, but Lord I want to do more than just receive forgiveness. I want to be changed. Change me Father! I am the clay and you are the Potter. I love you, and I love the things you are doing in me. In your son's precious name I pray. Amen.